This past weekend some friends along with our family went to Great Wolf Lodge to celebrate my oldest daughter’s 7th birthday (a little early.) It was an absolutely blast and all the kids, especially Karsen, had a great time! How could you not with waterslides, dancing, donuts and more?!
This isn’t about our fun filled weekend. This is about me doing something I NEVER thought I could/would EVER do!
Having Alopecia at a waterpark, pool or beach is not all it is hyped up to be. Is there even a hype? NOPE. Especially when your comfort level is covering your melon with a wig or hat. In the summer, there is no way in HELL I will be outside in a wig longer than I have to be. Talk about being miserable!! GIVE ME THE HAT ALL DAY LONG!
HOWEVER, wearing a WET hat is not fun at all. I thought about it the entire drive there. . . I should just do it! I won’t know anyone there. This is THE perfect time to go bald.
Friday at the waterpark= No Bueno.
My bestie and I talked about it that evening and she reiterated what a perfect opportunity it was to try it out. She was right.
Since November 2015 I have NOT left the house without ANYTHING on my head. I have always either had a headband, wig or scarf covering my head for the past three and half years.
As all the kids and husbands started to head to the waterslides, I stood there frozen. It is time. I HAVE to do this. Not for anyone else, but for me. I started to shake. My heart started to pound from the adrenaline pumping through my body. My friend looked at me and knew what I was thinking. “Just go for it,” she said. “No one knows you. You will never see any of them again.”
I was scared. I was nervous about all the staring. I wish I could just walk around with a HUGE sign that said, “I have Alopecia.” BUT people don’t know what that is!!
I MUST educate people on this autoimmune disease that has forever changed my life. It is now my life’s purpose.
STOP worrying about what other people think or see!!
I took off my hat and walked to the stairs to head to the waterslides. My bestie just smiled and told me how proud of me she was. I started to cry. My anxiety increased as my hands were rubbing over my bald head. I have NEVER done this throughout this journey. I wanted to run back to my hat, but I didn’t. I could NOT have done this without Emily.
I pulled the “band aid” off, took the biggest breathe of my life and walked down the stairs. BALD.
I was doing it. I wasn’t allowing my insecurities to control my life anymore.
Was it liberating? Yes. Was I scared to death? Yes. Did I want to throw up? HELL YES.
I continued walking.
It became easier and easier as the minutes went by. Was there staring? Absolutely. Did it bother me as much as I thought it would? NOPE.
I was in line with my oldest, Karsen, for the big waterslide and a dad behind me (who was almost bald) told me that I “rock the smooth head.” I told him thank you with a huge smile and that it was my first time out in public bald. He said, “well, you are rocking it.” The BEST part was that he saw a positive rather than the immediate negative (thinking I am dying) that most people see when they see me. I wish I would have told him how much that comment meant to me.
I DID IT. I proved to myself that I am SO much stronger and capable of SO much more than I EVER imagined. And so are YOU.
Remember, you CAN’T do it alone. You MUST rely and lean on family and friends as they want to lend a helping hand.
I would NOT be at this point of my journey without YOU. My parents. My husband, My daughters. My friends. YOU.
I challenge YOU to do something WAY out of your comfort zone this week and you if you need a little push or support, message me. Email me. I am her for you. ALWAYS!
Am I going to work tomorrow bald? Nope. 1. It is WAY too cold for a bald head out in this weather. 2. I am not ready yet, BUT I am one step closer!