Everyday I think about the person that I hope to be, my ideal self. I am continuously on social media (terrible habit) following MANY people, especially moms. I started following them to be inspired by them but then I found myself striving to be them.
The unfortunate aspect of social media is that we see one TINY glimpse of a person’s life and the tiny glimpse is most likely a filtered, perfect picture of themselves, their amazing adventures or perfect family. I would see perfect bodies, the cutest outfits, gorgeous locations…and I would want it ALL!!
I want to have that perfect body with the beautiful hair. I want to be the beautiful woman traveling airport to airport while looking absolutely stunning while traveling around the world to the most magnificent places. BUT then reality hits. . .I think about how unhappy I am with the body I see in the mirror, 90% of the time I am in a hoodie and yoga pants (especially traveling) and I don’t have the time to travel the world. . . . . .
FOR YEARS these postings weighed on me. What once started as a following to be inspired turned into a constant comparison of my life to theirs and my anxiety EXPLODED. WHY can’t I have their life?? WHY CAN’T THAT BE ME?!
Who says that they aren’t going through the same exact thing that I am?! Maybe THEY are experiencing their own battle? Maybe they look in the mirror and see flaws? Maybe they are quickly posing in their cute ass outfits and then changing back into their sweats? Again, we are ONLY seeing a TINY glimpse of their life, yet we use that ONE picture to compare to our entire life! WE MUST CHANGE OUR WAY OF THINKING!
Easier said than done though, right?!?!
This is why I have decided to use social media to post about ALL aspects of my life. The good. The bad. The ugly. And the in between. WHY??
Because I AM ME. I AM NOT THEM. I CHOOSE TO BE ME!
I want MILLIONS of woman to know that they ARE NOT ALONE!
There are MANY aspects of ME that I strive to improve upon, but my own self has been holding me back from being able to reach some of my goals. When I get into my own head I fall further and further behind.
I lost me. I lost my will power. My ability to take life by the throat and tell it who is in charge!! I spent all of 2018 attempting to get me back under control and failed miserably. I started 2019 out like any other woman/person setting goals for the year with the biggest goal of all, weight loss. I have failed over and over again to lose the damn weight that I continue to carry around. . .physically, mentally and emotionally. What is it going to take to shed ALL this weight.
Well, I ate ENTIRE box of Cheez Its in one day. And then did it AGAIN the very next weekend. How can you blame me? They were the White Cheddar flavor. . .can we say DELICIOUS?!?!
I remember laying in bed that night and thinking of myself, “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!” I am eating my feelings and COMPLETELY uncommitted to myself.
It hit me again, I CHOOSE TO BE ME! And by ME I mean happy, committed, focused, relentless. I WILL find me again. I WILL do WHATEVER it takes to look in that mirror and be happy with EVERYTHING that I see.
I am committed to ME. WHY?
BECAUSE I AM WORTH IT! And so are YOU.
Continue to follow AS MANY people as possible. Allow them to INSPIRE you. Allow them to help create goals for YOU! But you MUST remember that they are on their own journey and YOU are on your own journey. And we are ALL at different points of our journey while still attempting to discover ourselves.
Be kind to others and most importantly, be kind to YOU.
(Who knew that a box of Cheez Its could have have such an impact on a person??)